So my friend Ballsey and I had a discussion the other day about religion. He had to spend an extended period of time in a vehicle with his mother and she took it upon herself to try and convert him. Being the son of a minister, I can totally sympathize with him. It’s hard to be a non-religious offspring of someone who is very religious. While I believe that religion is often a good thing, I also believe it’s a personal thing and shoudn’t be force-fed on others. As a parent I can understand feeling a responsibility for you childs immortal soul, but I also know that if I take a spoon and try to shove it in my son’s mouth, he’s just going to turn his head or spit it out at me. And if it’s something that he doesn’t like and I do succeed in force-feeding it to him, he’ll like it even less. The same can be said of religion. Too many people don’t understand this.
Let’s take the run-of-the-mill bible thumper who shoves fliers at you, gets in your face, then spits all over you while they are berating you and telling you that you are a sinner. We’ve all seen them in the park or at a concert or heck, even here in the thriving metropolis of Stonington, Maine. Now find me one person who was converted by them. Seriously. This is no way to convert someone. Sure, this is a drastic example, but the same could be said of parents who guilt-trip their children into religion. IT DOESN’T WORK and most of all it’s DISRESPECTFUL. You child has a brain and a heart and it’s THEIR decision whether they believe in God, Krishna, Buddah, Mohammed, Rush Limbaugh or even Satan. And sure you may feel guilty if they decide to choose a different religion than you, but hey, to go back to the bible, God gave Adam and Eve the choice. Many believe that they fucked up, but you know what…God didn’t shove a bible in their faces when they walked up to that tree. He did what he had to and still loved them. Take an example from him. Or take an example from Jesus. Imagine if he went up to Mary Magdalene and said “You’re a fucking whore! You have sinned in God’s sight and must beg his forgiveness.” Do you think that would have converted her? Can you picture Jesus walking around with a placard that says “Repent, the end is near!”?
What it all comes down to is respect. NONE of us have the answers, NONE. Period. And while it may comfort us to believe that our way is the way to salvation, we don’t know. God is not a ball of twine that can be weighed and measured and summed up in a few paragraphs. God is so fricking huge that none of us will ever be able to fathom even the smallest piece. Sure, you may have a great understanding of God’s left elbow, but isn’t the right knee just as important?
In other words, don’t tell people what to believe. Talk to them. Tell them why you believe what you do. And maybe if they ask you a question you don’t have an answer for, you can think about it and do some soul searching yourself. Don’t be the used car salesman for religion. It’s been proven 9 out of 10 times to be less effective at selling automobiles, so COME ON DOWN TO JOE BOB’s CHURCH where your salvation is only $9.95. That’s right $9.95! What a steal. Do you really think the church next door can offer that?!
